Writer’s Workshop: Pet Peeves!

One pet peeve that shouldn’t drive you crazy, but does.

Let me start off by saying that I have a very long list of pet peeves. I’ve learned to cope with a majority of them, but there is one thing that I have yet to learn how to deal with. It has to be the most infuriating, agitating, and annoying pet peeve of all time. It also happens to be the one pet peeve of mine that no one can understand.

My pet peeve that shouldn’t really be a pet peeve, but is, is having someone “help” me with my household responsibilities.

Do you understand why it’s a pet peeve?

No?

Okay, let me explain.  🙂

I have a huge issue with anyone cleaning up my house, doing my laundry, washing my dishes, or taking care of my children. I have four children and a husband who deploys constantly. Surely, I must need the help right?! I have to be insane to want to do everything, without any help. I must not appreciate the help other’s are offering. That isn’t the case at all.

I appreciate the help everyone offers me. I understand that my friends and family want to assist me by grabbing a screaming child from my arms to soothe them or cooking a meal for my family while I attend to other things. The thing that irks me is unless I am asking you for your assistance; please, do not take it upon yourself to take on my household responsibilities. My job as a mother is to take care of my children, whether they are screaming or laughing. Do not grab them from my arms and try to soothe them yourself. Another thing, most of the time if I haven’t folded my laundry yet because I am leaving that task for when the children are all asleep, so I can relax. Many of my responsibilities, as a wife and mother, are relaxing for me. I actually enjoy doing the dishes, most days. I thrive on a routine, and having someone come in and mess up my routine, angers me!

Now, that is not to say that you can come visit my house and not wash your own plate and make a mess. That is just inconsiderate and rude. If you eat on a plate, wash your own plate, but do not take it upon yourself without my asking, to wash all the dishes and pots.  Chances are, I was planning on doing it. My reason behind this, is that I am really finicky with making sure my plates are clean, and not being wasteful with the soap.

The point to all of this is, that I hate when people take initiative to take over my job as a mother and wife. I knew what I was getting myself into when I married my husband. I knew that I would be expected to take care of the house while he worked. When I had children, even though I had more than I initially bargained for, I knew that I would have to take care of them; sometimes this means without my husband’s help. Believe it or not I actually enjoy having a house full of kids, whether they are driving me crazy or making me laugh.

I knew all of this first hand. So when someone comes to my house and starts “helping,” I feel as if they are pitying me and my lifestyle. “Poor Gabie, she must need so much help taking care of the kids and fending for herself, while her husband is gone.” I’m self-sufficient and I’m independent. I can take care of myself and my children all on my own. I am not superwoman, but I am fully capable, and if I need anyone’s help I have a mouth, that I can use to speak for myself.

So please, do not come into my home and start doing things for me. If you want to help me, stop by for coffee or tea and give me the gift of conversation; without pitying or judging my life.

 

What’s your Pet Peeve?

9 comments

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  1. angiepowell

    Yay! I am the same way… LOL. My only exception to this is my husband haha. I sometimes wish he would just get up and clean the dishes or take out the garbage. Although I say that, I honestly think even that would drive me bonkers cause I’m so used to doing it!

    • Gabie

      Angie: Oh of course! I’d love for my husband to help out a little more. The difference is, in my opinion as a husband and father they have that responsibility to help out. Now a friend or extended family member doesn’t. I feel if ANYONE should be helping me out around the house it should be my husband; not my neighbor, nor my aunt, or even my mother-in-law.

  2. dysfunctional mom

    I kinda get how you feel. If someone else does something for me, it makes me feel as if they’re judging me for not having already taken care of it myself. And they’re probably not, but that’s how I take it.
    But if I could only get my husband & teenagers to pull their weight around here….sigh, that’s a different story altogether!
    Visiting from Mama Kat’s too.

    • Gabie

      I agree. In most cases, I know the person probably doesn’t mean any harm. Usually, they’re just trying to help but like I told Angie, above, if anyone should be helping out it should be other household members. 🙂

  3. Erin

    Sounds like my motto for every thing “Don’t mess, with the mess on the desk, you’re gonna jam up the system”
    Whether it’s on the desk, in the sink, or in the bathtub crying, it’s called controlled chaos, and I know what and how it goes!

    I wrote about my pet peeve too!

    • Gabie

      Thank you for your comment! 🙂 I will read you post and comment.

      –Oh, I can not stand when other people organize my clutter. It seems like that is when you always end up missing a very important document or your keys!

      I think you’re right on with the phrase “controlled chaos.” It describes my house perfectly. lol

  4. Georgia Girls

    Good to remember as I sometimes want to be overly helpful to my daughter who absolutely wonderful, with a different personality and ways of doing things. I actually enjoy household chores as well. Even with little children, I always maintained a clean orderly environment without being OCD about it. I’m not afraid to ask for help, but am independent that way and have a husband who can pick up the slack without making me feel bad it didn’t get done. I always prefer conversation as a way to recharge.

    Visiting from Mama Kats

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