Military Wives Stereotypes

Okay so I have a bone to pick. I am so tired of these Military wife stereotypes. I read articles all the time where people are belittling military wives and labeling us. We’re all supposed to be lazy, gossiping, cheating, insecure, and angry Wives. Granted, most wives do fit some of the stereotypes but that doesn’t mean all wives do. This is why I hate watching “Army Wives” now, and other shows that are supposed to be geared toward military spouses. I don’t think the way they portray military spouses is accurate at all.

I’m tired of hearing about how Wives are cheating on their husbands during deployment. Of course, people will assume if one wife does it we all must be hooking up with the “milk man.” Infidelity is a serious issue, but this issue is common in most marriages–not just military couples. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had the conversation below.

Them: “How long will he be gone?”

Me: “Give or take a year.”

Them: “Aww. Poor thing. How will you manage?”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Them: “You know…How will you last a year without sex?”

Me: “Seriously?”

SERIOUSLY?! I mean, why would you even ask that? It’s called self control, patience, and devotion to my Husband! It infuriates me when I see this topic on shows like “Army Wives” and they validate the affair making it seem as if there is nothing wrong with this behavior. When you get married, you make vows and you honor those vows! I’m so tired of seeing and hearing about this garbage.

Another thing I really hate this attitude many wives have when it comes to their husband’s job. I am 100% supportive of my husband, and I am damn proud of him. However, I would never let my pride get to my head and forget my place. Your place as an Army Wife is beside your husband supporting him on the home front. It is not your place to wear his rank or to let his years of service  get to your head and make you think you’re this high ranking official. You’re the wife, not the soldier–this statement of course does not apply to dual military.

I would never, and I mean it, never waltz up to my husband’s Commander or First Sergeant and completely disrespect them because I’m angry about a decision they made concerning my Husband’s work. If there is an issue at my Husband’s job, that requires him to work longer hours or is just plain inconvenient for me “I will suck it up and deal with it.” My husband is a big boy, he doesn’t need me to go to his job and fight his battles for him. When Wives approach their Husband’s superiors and “give them a piece of their mind,” it might accomplish something but at what expense, you embarrassed your Husband. Now you’re Husband will have to deal with the taunts from his peers about his Wife’s behavior.

If your Husband was a civilian would you walk into his job at, lets say, the local Police Department. Would you go find the highest ranking person there and demand to know; Why your husband is being forced to work late hours, or why he wasn’t given the vacation time he put in. No you wouldn’t, and if you would you’re a fool in my book. That’s the Husband’s battle, and not your own battle to be fought.

I think most Military wives have so much pride for their Husband that it can be easy for them to forget that, they’re not the ones wearing the rank and deploying. Now I’m not saying that our job is not as important as the jobs in the military. We’re the motivation for our husband’s to get back safe and sound. We bring them peace of mind, when we tell them

“Hey, all is well back here. Kids are happy and healthy. I’m doing okay as well. We love you.”

Those little words mean a lot to a soldier when they’re deployed, and it can bring them such a sense of relief, allowing them to focus on their job. Military spouses are an important part of the military, but we must not forget that we’re not soldiers and it is not okay to act in the manner mentioned above.

I really needed to get this off my chest. I’m so done with being surrounded by catty, gossiping, cheating, and self righteous wives. I’m looking forward to my Husband’s career plans, so I can be surrounded by other wives who are more mature. I’ve only met a small handful of wives here, who I can say do not fit any of the previous stereotypes and are just amazing women. Sadly I can count them on one hand, because there are only a few of them.

6 comments

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  1. Sarah Begley

    Amen! I heard about the show Army Wives and decided never to watch it. My dad watches (or watched) that show “The Unit” about a group of SF soldiers. It mostly focused on the soldiers, but it would go back to the homfront now and again. There were 6 (I think) soldiers, including the COL. There were 5 wives. 4 of the wives were the Army Wives we think of when we think of ourselves. Sad that their husbands are gone, but proud of what they are doing. They kept the home clean, organized, and the kids happy all while making sure their soldier husbands didn’t have to worry about anything aside from his duty. (After all, a distracted soldier is a dead soldier). 1 wife was cheating. ONE. After all, isn’t that really how it is? Yeah, there are the soldiers and the spouses who cheat, but it’s more like 1 in 5 than 4 in 5.

    • Mrs Thing

      I LOVE “The Unit!” We have Seasons 1-3 here at home. I think it’s much better than “Army Wives.” I used to watch Army Wives but after a couple episodes I realized the show, wasn’t what I thought it was.

      I agree the infidelity isn’t that common, at least to my own knowledge. I think the media portrays Army Wives in a bad light with some of these shows. For example, in Army Wives you see cheating very often! The first person to cheat is the Army Husband, Roland. Then the SF Wife almost cheats on her husband while he’s deployed, and the Nurse has a long affair while her husband is deployed.

      That’s 3 out of 5 couples who cheated in this series, and on top of it all the show validates each affair! They always make the affair seem like it was okay. It’s just disgusting. That’s why I’ll stick to watching The Unit, it’s way more realistic. 🙂

  2. Spc.Doniel Richardson

    -loving the blog gabby , I agree with everything you said 100 percent. Also about that “Army Wives” show; let’s not forget that if it didn’t entail any type of animosity in it then it probably wouldn’t be a show on television, let’s blame pop culture and our friends in the “entertainment” business for that. I respect wives like you and of course my own for keeping things proper . Sometimes I think that the job of an army wife is harder than ours , it requires just as much dedication and strength and let’s not forget HONOR to do so. Well . I’m rambling …lol .. Nice blog! ..

    GO CAV! ..

  3. Becky

    I admit, from the outside it seems like it would be impossibly hard to have my husband leave for a year, but not because I don’t get to have sex! I just love the companionship of a husband and get depressed when Travis is gone only overnight for work.
    But good for you, girl! You’re awesome.

    • Mrs Thing

      Thank you. I know it’s not for everyone! Its very difficult and there are times when it really gets to me. I try to remind myself that I have no control over where he goes, the only thing I have control over is my attitude. I can either be sad or I can try to stay happy. 🙂

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